“Voice being heard listening - Taboos.” - SCCA Wellbeing Chapter

13th June 2024

By Geeta Thakerar

Do you have conversational intelligence? Why does this matter? Do you often lack the courage to voice your feelings and speak up or get listened to?

Last month the SCCA Wellbeing Chapter delved into cultural intelligence and leveraging this in management of conflicts or getting a deal through efficiently and smoothly.

Whether or not you are able to get your points across, or being heard or really being listened to, may have potentially profound implications on your mental and physical wellbeing.

Do you feel able to freely voice your thoughts and feelings?

Research suggests that speaking up and being free to do so is essential for personal growth, fostering healthy relationships, and creating positive change.

However, so often people shy away from verbalising their views and concerns. Do we have self-awareness of the negative implications on ourselves? How the frustration and anger, slowly and silently, gently chip away inside us without us even knowing - if we are never heard or unable to get a word in edgeways?

Why don’t lawyers readily speak up? Why do some lawyers never listen up?

Certain taboos or societal norms within the legal profession can discourage especially younger lawyers from expressing their thoughts openly.

Questioning authority figures within legal teams or law practices or expressing dissent is considered disrespectful. There is sometimes the fear of repercussions or backlash for challenging the status quo.

Which junior lawyer is prepared to stand up to a senior lawyer? Will the senior lawyer even take the time to listen?

Despite growing awareness, mental health remains a taboo topic. It is easier to hesitate and not speak up or share struggles, due to stigma or fear of judgment. Often this remains internalised. It festers. In the longer-term it manifests itself in ill health, poor productivity, and zero motivation.

Admitting mistakes or failures can be difficult. Fear of embarrassment or damaging one’s reputation often leads to silence.

Conversations about personal finances can be uncomfortable. People may avoid discussing salaries, debts, or financial difficulties to maintain privacy or avoid judgment.

Certain topics can be touchy. Fear of offending others or being labelled as biased may prevent open dialogue.

Does the profession today readily include initiatives to raise awareness and greater visibility of wellbeing and mental health agendas in the legal profession?

There is a pervasive cultural stigma around disclosing mental health problems in the legal community.

The traditional law curriculum has yet to address and better support the wellbeing of students and prepare those who do enter the practice of law - be it in private practice or inhouse. Should there be core competency requirements and broader questions about the place of emotion in legal education and professional practice alike?

Data suggests that it is important that understandings of mental health be separated from

ideas of weakness. Young lawyers in particular feel vulnerable. They are often under some distinctive pressures early in their careers. This may result in difficulties to speak out about problems. The concern around the possible implications of disclosing difficulties, the need to be seen as ‘bulletproof’ in coping with work demands. Client expectations and employer expectations alike.

How to leverage on conversational intelligence to improve and facilitate people to voice up and listen up?

Asking and listening – basic communication skills often overlooked by those in a position of leadership.

Before you ask a question, consider whether it is truly a question. Often, people state opinions or demands in the form of a question.

Allow time for people to answer.

Conversational Intelligence creates a sense of safety; fosters transparency; makes one mindful about not jumping to conclusions or assumptions; is supportive of innovation; the freedom to express new ideas and try new things, even if one is unsure of the outcome. The importance of encouraging open conversations and creating safe spaces can help with the well-entrenched walls. Voicing up is a powerful tool for positive change.

Having some greater awareness on these issues and looking at how to better approach and address these taboos will mean one has to be brave, empathetic, and courageous.

If you are interested and wish to either learn more or be part of the conversation, please join the SCCA’s Wellbeing Chapter’s Wellbeing Wednesday series (link), next month. The Chapter will facilitate conversations over a lunchtime and over lunch.